Dear Diary,
        It was just a casual day in always sunny South Australia, but something felt amiss. Seeing as it was early in the day and I hadn’t yet been called to the kitchen by my lovely house mate Rosie I knew something wasn’t quite right. So I laid in bed for about 15 minutes or so because I figured maybe he had just decided to make me breakfast in bed today, but as the minutes ticked by I slowly began starting to feel wary and decided to to go and see if I could locate my oh so sultry friend. So after taking a quick piss and brushing my teeth I set upon the task of finding rosie, in our small but modest mud hut. However as I walked into our living room I came across the most beautiful and angelic sight I think any mortal man has laid eyes on, there he was in all his splendid glory asleep on the couch in nothing but cute little hello kitty thong we found together last Christmas in Sydney. I decided it was best not to wake my chesty man man, and quickly left for work deciding to just get some take away for breakfast on the way. It was during my commute from home to the office that I noticed something quite strange along the side of the rode, so I parked my kangaroo to investigate. It was none other than our friend Luke the killer gorilla from the Navy, I guess at this point for those of you reading this blog I should probably say that Australia will Let anyone join the Navy, and since Luke already was good at killing people it seemed obvious he should go in that direction the fact that he was a 386 Kilo primate didn’t make any difference to the Navy. They decided having a Silver Back Gorilla in the navy would be a good thing, though as of late he had seemed depressed so he was on shore leave and living with us. I assume he is just tuckered out from a night of pillaging and plundering the Aboriginals so but seeing has he had a small child penetrated with his massive morning wood I thought it was best to wake him and make sure he went home to wash up and avoid being charged as a pedophile. Can Gorillas be charged for that? I wonder, I mean he’s in the Navy so he’d probably get off the hook….. But I digress I woke him up and upon seeing me I was embraced in a warm but much too firm hug which soiled my work clothes seeing as I was know covered in a toddlers innards, so I walked back home with Luke and my kangaroo Derek in tow. Upon Arriving home and sharing a shower with Luke to Assure that we got all of the toddler he had for breakfast out of his fur. It was about this time I realized I still hadn’t gotten to eat any breakfast, which really for some reason made me unhappy, I started to boil over with rage so upon leaving the shower I stayed nude and walked over the the sleeping Rosie and decided now was as good a time for a wake up rape as any. (The details of the encounter shall not be written in this journal due to possible law violations, just cause Luke can do it doesn’t mean we all can, I mean for fucks sake hes a killer Gorilla who is gonna fuck with him unless they want their cunt split in half with his 1 meter gorilla cock?) So after a very Messy two girls one cup meets BME pain Olympics morning of playing with Rosie I got another shower and headed back to Derek my trusty kangaroo and headed to work. I had just made it in time for my shift and wasn’t late overall my day at the office was fairly routine, I am writing this to you now from my bed I share with Rosie, I can hear Luke killing the neighbors what a beautiful way to end my boring day at the office, but you know what really grinds me gears guys, I never got my fucking breakfast……